Instant Gratification: A Success Poisoned

instant gratificationThe kind of success we constantly see in media can poison our minds. Golden medals at the Olympics, massive IPOs, scaling a business from five figures to seven figures in a year, wonderful weddings, decisive military victories or losing 100 pounds in five months. All those stories have common themes: they are shiny and fast.

They all fit the dictionary definition of success:

The accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

The above examples may or may not be success, it depends on the cost attached to it. My friend has a friend who was a very “successful” gymnast. She represented her country and won medals when she was young. Nowadays, she cannot sleep, because her body is in pain every single night.

Is business success worth it, if it leads to the end of your marriage? A wonderful wedding means nothing, if the marriage will not last. Was achieving a military victory worth the lives of soldiers? What if the guy who lost 100 pounds in five months gained 200 in the next 12 months?

Poisoned Success

Success is NOT achieving an aim or purpose. Not if the cost was too high. But we don’t see the full equation in media, only the shiny part.

instant gratificationThe faulty definition of success causes us to be skewed toward instant gratification. We want badly those shiny results, and we want them NOW. It’s better to lose 100 pounds in one month than in five, to get your business to six figures in a year, not in three, or to win an Olympic result after a 3-year career, not a 10-year one.

And hey, if you could condense each of the above examples, don’t shy away from doing it!

So we want success, and we want it now.

Which Leads to Frustration

It’s so easy to feel frustrated when you are full of instant gratification mindset.
You try a new diet and get frustrated when you lose “only” 4 pounds in the first week.
You start a business and close it down after two weeks, because customers didn’t knock down your doors.
You start a blog, keep posting for a few weeks and then look at the statistics. Heck! Only you and your mother visited the page.

It goes like that with everything. You cannot stick to a chosen path, because you expect results too soon. You expect them immediately.

Shiny Object Syndrome

And then comes the worst. You cannot stick with one thing long enough to see results, so you look for the next big thing to give you the desired breakthrough. You find it quickly… but again, you cannot persevere long enough to get results. So you seek again for another instantaneous solution.

Your life morphs into this vicious cycle: a shiny object gets your attention, you jump on it with ferocity and dedicate a lot of your energy… for a short time. You get disappointed with your lack of progress, so you shop around for “something better.” A new shiny object draws your attention, you jump on it.
And it goes like this on and on.

Instant Gratification Makes It Worse

Have a look at this chart.

instant gratification

The Slight Edge chart


If you repeat the cycle of hope-frustration-hope, there is no space in your life to introduce perseverance. However, perseverance is what gets you on an upward curve and keeps you there.

If you keep chasing shiny objects, your life will go in a downward spiral. It’s unavoidable.

Is there a remedy? Yes, absolutely. First, you need to redefine success, then stick to one method for long enough to see the results. Once you get effects, frustration will have a limited access to you, and you will be less prone to pay attention to shiny objects.

How to do that? That’s material for a whole different post.

Develop a Fitness Mindset and Become Unstoppable!

This is the first ever guest post on Expand Beyond Yourself! Enjoy this very comprehensive post of Anita from Fit Solutions for Life!


Fitness Mindset

How many times have you started a fitness program in order to lose weight and get in shape, only to abandon your efforts in a few weeks or after only a few days?

How many times have you lost weight on a quick weight loss diet, only to find that once you started eating normally you put the weight (and probably a few extra pounds) back on?

Although there are many reasons this may have happened, the major component missing from your efforts is the development of a “fitness mindset”.

A fitness mindset will keep you moving forward and making progress in your efforts to lose weight and get in shape, even when you make mistakes or encounter obstacles.

THINGS YOU MUST UNDERSTAND

In order to develop a fitness mindset one of the first things you have to understand is that whatever physical shape you are in today, it is the result of thousands of habitual actions performed throughout your life. Continue reading

Money Mindset: Can Just $60 Transform It?

Money mindset changed by $60
On Wednesday the 10th of September, my wife’s salary was transferred to our bank account. In the first 9 months of 2015, we earned more than in the whole 2014. To be accurate 6.6% more.

I attribute it all to the 60 dollars I saved in September 2012.

I bet you are a bit disoriented by that statement. I am still a bit stunned by how just 60 dollars could multiply into thousands of dollars.
Continue reading

There Is Nothing Wrong with the World

Nothing wrong with the world
A few weeks ago, I read an outstanding book: How to Find Peace. Peace is definitely something I’m still looking for. If you are curious, I wrote a review about it in another post. In short, the author claims that all turmoil comes from inside of us. In order to take advantage of this philosophy, you need to accept everything that happens in your life.

Anything.

Not so easy, is it?

Well, it dawned on me this very morning: it’s easy. You need just a bit (in my case, a couple of years) of training in changing what’s wrong with your perspective.
Continue reading

Your Mindset and The Art of Persistence

The Art of Persistence
All of those “tools” I mentioned here and here are fine and can do the miracles with your consistency, but they won’t help much if your personal philosophy is wrong. What is personal philosophy?

“A system a person forms for conduct of life.”

You live, so it’s an axiom that you have some system for conduct of life. Your personal philosophy determines absolutely every output in your life. It directs all your actions. Part of it is your overall attitude towards consistency. It undoubtly affects your ability to stick with a long-term task or habit.

If your personal philosophy is messy, you need to adjust it before you attempt any consistent activity. If consistency is not something worthy in your worldview, then all such attempts are doomed for failure. The best techniques and tricks are not going to help you if your self-talk sabotages your consistency.

Continue reading

Elusive Success

elusive_success
A few days ago I’ve received another message from my publisher, that the launch of my latest book will be further postponed; maybe even as long as 4 more weeks.
I know that some of you are waiting for it, so today I reveal the first chapter of the “Trickle Down Mindset”:


“There are no stereotypes for success.” ― Jim Rohn

The philosopher’s stone is a legendary alchemical substance said to be capable of turning base metals such as lead into gold, and to be an elixir of life, useful for rejuvenation and achievement of immortality. For centuries, it was the most sought after goal in alchemy, symbolizing perfection, enlightenment, and heavenly bliss.

And I found it.
Continue reading

Free Personal Development

free personal development
I always find the idea of spending money in order to make you rich a little bizarre. Books, audio programs, seminars and courses can cost you a fortune. There is a whole ‘personal development industry’, and maybe it is doing a good job—I am curious about your experiences in that matter. Please comment if you wasted your money or got tenfold, hundredfold return on such investments. Detailed life examples are welcome!

No motivational program can motivate you if you won’t motivate yourself. It is your actions that will change your life, not anybody else’s actions, advice or good intentions.

According to 80/20 rule, 80% of success is depending on you, it isn’t sensible to allocate 80% of your budget to a 20% factor of training materials.

My experience was that I had attended events, read books, listened to tapes and nothing significant happened, and it made me suspicious about the results of any paid programs. It also made me close-minded. I was looking for ulterior motives first and then for some useful knowledge.
Continue reading